observed

Mum was right, the girls have long teeth.

I am a miserable git.

I like the word git.

It's very old and almost antique.

Just because it's theirs won't make their teeth any shorter.

at work, and yet...

I know I shouldn't even be reading this now, let alone write about it, but anyway. Just to bore you some more: The British and their alcohol - A love story. A few quotations from an article on reuters.com.

"'We want to talk to people to find out why it is they feel they have to drink to get drunk,' Coaker said."

Well, Mr Coaker, that indeed is a valid question. Why use alcohol? Only the British feel the need to drink in order to get drunk. The rest of European nations are either drunk by default or they resort to the consumption of cannabis.

"It is unacceptable for people to use alcohol as an excuse to urinate, vomit (in the street) and carry on in some of the ways they are carrying on." Again, Mr Coaker. And again, I feel I have to acquiesce: Drinking is really no excuse for urinating and vomiting in the street. The British had better look for something a little more credible. Like football, punk or politics.

What would Peanut say? Oh, gosh.

while i'm writing

Please note the following facts:

• The cats try get in but my arse is blocking the door to the backyard.
• A little known fact about Uns Addi is that he was a member of Der Frontseite Westliche Choralgruppe.
• I survived the festival without getting laid or lying down under the influence of intoxicating substances.
• I am seriously upset about one of the two, but leave it up to you to figure out which.
• I have been offered cocaine, the main distributor of which is IKEA.
• I am beginning too many sentences with the word "I".
• Therefore, I will stop doing so.
• As usual, women are left out of the consideration of detergent policy.
• The links in this article will not become more inventive just because you keep reading.
• What you should read, though, are works by this author.
• Not necessarily, however, works by this one.
• If you think I am trying to be funny, you might be right.
• If you think I am failing, you are.
• Starting to dream in English is a good reason for writing in it, too. The umlauts are another.
• The links in this article will not become more inventive just because you keep reading.
• Reading Germaine Greer, I discovered that something has gone wrong. I can't figure out whether it concerns her book or society, though.
• The cats try to get out, but my arse is blocking the door to the backyard.
• It is dark, but it's not raining. So technically there is a good chance that the sun is shining somewhere further up north. In Bury or Blackburn, maybe.
• I am beginning to enjoy and cherish the soothing repetitiveness of the daily grind.
• Seriously, I like working. I feel part of the team. I feel my work is being acknowledged. In case you got that wrong, please reread the first word of the sentence. It reads "seriously".
• This entry runs the headline of While I'm writing, a statement which is both true and false. I am, indeed, writing - though of course not the article I intended to. Rather, I busy myself accumulating nonsensical links in a list. In bullet points. Maybe I just miss university.
• My tooth is no longer inflamed, but that doesn't mean that I had finally made some friends or were getting laid.
• The cats are back out. Cadbury has failed to word its magic thus relieving me from the oppression of lookism and legginsism and you-better-watch-your-figurism. Am I overly anxious or simply concerned?
• When I eat more, I don't feel like I should be eating less. It's only when I do eat less that I find that I am eating too much.
• This is not the right place for deep insights into the female psyche.
• I will not be called a girl - unless I will be allowed to travel for the reduced fare, that is.
• The search phrase 'british girls dress in skimpy clothes' yields utterly boring results.
• Instead of reading this, I would like to draw your attention to another much underrated activity.

mais

Der Mais ist heiss, jawohl.